Apr 12
15
2011 was an eventful year on a global scale, but it was also pretty eventful for us and, fortunately for us, in a very positive way.
On December 14th Sophie Lynne Swift arrived into the World. She is now four months old and is developing well. Joseph was a little bit suspicious at first, but has been amazingly affectionate towards her, although sometimes his cuddles and kisses can be a little brutal!
Sophie’s existence in this World is thanks to the wonderful medical research performed by Professor Yanick Crow and his team at Manchester, UK. Joseph’s illness is inherited, and any children that Colette and I have stand a one in four chance of developing Aicardi Goutieres Syndrome (AGS). Thanks to the research performed at Manchester, many of the genes responsible for AGS have been identified[1], opening up the possibility to have the developing fetus tested at a very early stage of development[2].
[The rest of this blog post is not intended to be a justification of the decisions we made, but will hopefully be of benefit to other couples faced with a similar situation to ours]
Obviously, the choice to have a second child was not an easy one at all. I’ll try to summarize the main points below:
We decided that we really did want another child. Not only for the usual innate reasons that most couples want to have children, but also because we felt that another child would be a hugely positive influence on our lives. The positive psychological benefits brought to myself and Colette would rub off on Joseph: happier parents means happier children. Not only that – and we’re already seeing this – another child would provide a huge source of stimulation and fun for Joseph.
I don’t think that we spent much time dwelling on this one: reproduction is a fundamentally selfish act anyway. No matter how much we humans want to think that it is a conscious informed decision, we are making the decision against a background of innate primal biological needs.
I have no doubt that a child born into a family impacted by some form of severe illness will be influenced in some way. If we had had Sophie when Joseph was very young, when his illness was at its most traumatic, this influence would have been negative: Colette and I were in no state to bring up another child. Things are different now: Joseph’s condition is much more stable and the same goes for his parents. We felt we were ready to have more children. We were strong again. Even now, there’s still a question as to the impact AGS will have on Sophie in the long term. Joseph has taught us a huge amount about life and, therefore, he would be a very positive influence on his siblings for the same reasons. I’m sure that there will be ups and downs over the years, but I think we will all be stronger and better people for it. I hope. And that’s all we can do. Hope.
We decided that, if we wanted to have more children, we could not risk having another child with AGS. The burden on the rest of us, including Joseph, would be too much. I appreciate that some families have no choice in the matter, perhaps because they only discover that their children are ill later in life. We were fortunate enough to have a choice, and we wanted the best future for Joseph and ourselves.
This was perhaps the hardest part of the decision. Did the motivation to have an additional child outweigh the downside of risking an abortion? Abortion is often a contentious subject and everyone is permitted to have their opinions. It was a very difficult decision and one which required a lot of time plus medical and psychological help. It was especially difficult for Colette for many reasons and on lots of levels, physically and emotionally. Ultimately, I think our opinion was one that is very common: if an abortion must be performed then it should be carried out as early as possible. We were fortunate that the genetic tests could be done at around 7-8 weeks, with an abortion at around 10-12 weeks if the results were bad.
A psychologist who was counselling us made a very interesting point that really helped us: usually if there is something fundamentally wrong with a developing fetus, then nature will take its course naturally and the pregnancy will self-terminate. In the case of AGS, nature is not doing its job properly, and we were merely helping it.
As to the second part of the question, considering the illness he has, Joseph is lucky in the sense that compared to some other AGS victims, the damage caused by his illness could be a lot more serious. Even so, his first two years were a living hell for him. A second AGS child would very likely not be so lucky. We, as parents, have the capacity to cope with one child with AGS, but we still find it difficult for so many reasons and the thought of what the future holds for Joe and us living with this illness really scares us. A second child with AGS would make life unbearable for all of us.
It’s impossible to cover every aspect of the decision making process. It took us years to reach the point where we were ready to embark on having another child. I should also add that the pregnancy itself was not easy for either of us. The two month wait between finding out that Colette was pregnant and receiving the test results was unbelievably difficult. I will never forget the day we received the phone call with the test results.
Once we knew the test results, we found it difficult to accept or become excited that Colette was pregnant. Our first few weeks with Sophie were difficult as well: we were very functional with her and unemotional. It was like we were in some form of shock. We think, and we have heard similar stories, that we were still traumatized by our past and, as a result, we were protecting ourselves from getting hurt if something went wrong again.
Needless to say that we have finally regained our confidence and Sophie has completely won us over!
[1] Recent research has identified a seventh gene responsible for AGS. The gene responsible for Joe’s form of AGS is RNASEH2B
[2] There’s even the possibility to perform pre-conception selection using IVF techniques, however the long waiting lists ruled this option out for us.
Mar 11
16
Matt insists that 2011 will be a better year. So far, so good. Matt started his new job in January, Joey’s new cousin; Benjamin Matthew Brooker was born on the 12 February, and Joey will have another new cousin in Ireland in mid June. At the end of February, we spent a lovely week in Ireland catching up with family and friends. Joey had great fun with his 8 Irish cousins. Jack, the youngest, spent the week giving Joey loads of kisses ‘to make him better’ and was tirelessly showing Joey ‘how to eat’. His older cousins were asking lots of questions about whether Joey will ever walk or talk. It’s always difficult to find the right words or know how to respond.Love and special thoughts for this Christmas to all of you….. our dear friends and family who are near, far or no longer on this earth but with us in our hearts.
Hope Santa visits – his reindeers and sledge are well equipped for the snow so he has no excuses.
Nov 10
22
Thank you Zinidine Zidane, all the team at ELA and the volunteers and staff at Disneyland for a magical day at Eurodisney in Paris, on Saturday 20th November 2010.
800 ELA families were united in putting aside their struggles for a few hours and instead enjoy the sunshine, camaraderie and sparkle of Disneyland. We were guided by volunteers, led to the most suitable rides, taken to the front of queues, and given complementary meals. We were also joined by a long list of celebrities who came to help and raise awareness about leukodystrophy for the media and the public.
Joey was a little bit tired from the long journey there but enjoyed a ride on a rocket with his Daddy and was in awe of the music and lighting all around. Sadly, he fell asleep for the wonderful Disney parade finale, despite the very loud music! and woke up when the last float passed by. Never mind, hopefully there’ll be another opportunity ahead.
Nov 10
10
On Saturday 13th November 2010, Joseph will appear on National French TV with some celebrities who are giving their time to help with a national fundraising exercise for ELA. For friends who are in France, the show is called: ‘Les stars se depassent pour ELA’ and will be broadcast on TF1 at 20h45 local time. Joey will be with some of his friends from ELA and it should be an interesting weekend!
The following weekend we return to Paris where Joey will spend another day with his ELA friends at Disneyland. Rumour has it that we’ll be meeting Zinidine Zidane, so we’ll go equipped with jerseys and photos for signing!
In general, Joey is in great form and making progress all the time. He is making a really big effort to be understood, using his eyes to look at what he wants and intonation in a yes and no manner. It’s still a bit of a guessing game, but when we get it right, he now rewards us with a big smile and a mmmmmmmm. Matt and I are always impressed by Joey’s fighting character and determination.
Our friend, Uncle Bill, spent some time here with us in September and together with Matt, they have built a superb terrace around part of the house. This new ‘room’ gives Joey ample outdoor freedom in his trotter and we’re all so thrilled with it. So thank you and super well done to Bill and Matt for all the hard work. Next job is to put up a railing to stop Joey from sailing off the edge. I also want to create a sensory garden in and around the terrace for Joey and his friends to enjoy.
Oct 10
5
Sep 10
1
Joey had his first day at school this week. Well, school in a loose sense, but an exciting and big step for him and us nonetheless. He has started in a ‘social, medical and educational’ centre called Ninon Vallin. He will go there for two days a week and is one of seven children in a group called ‘les poussins’ (baby chickens). The centre is specially adapted to help socialise, educate and care for children with multiple disabilities from the age of four to eighteen.
We brought Joey into the centre for his first day in his little trotter (walking frame with wheels) and within seconds he was off scooting down the wide open corridors exploring each room. And that was it. No clinging, no tears (well, apart from his mothers!), not even a glance over his shoulder to see where we were. With his cheeky grin in full use, already after one day, he has managed to charm the nurses, teachers and carers, along with a little girl in his group!
Hopefully, this new start at Ninon Vallin will help Joey’s progress in many ways. We will work with a team at the centre to develop a personal plan for him. This plan will aim to help meet some of his special needs, for example, exploring techniques to help him communicate etc. He will also have physiotherapy and other various therapies at the centre. He will continue to have one session of physio at home and all other consultations will continue at hospital as normal (eg: neurological and gastric related appointments).
Meanwhile, with two days a week on her own, guess who’ll be wiping down cobwebs, not in the house, but from her bike (and credit card – Matt)! Big grin.
Jun 10
27
The big day has arrived for Ed – today is Ironman France in Nice. We met Ed earlier this week and he was look very fit and ready for the race today. We know he can do it and we know that he’s going to sail round the course! We’re keeping our fingers and toes crossed for him and willing him on.
You can monitor his progress here on Ironman Live.
So far he’s doing very well – he finished the swim in just over an hour in what looked like perfect conditions – a nice (pun intended) calm sea. He’s now on the big and going very smoothly…
Go Ed! Go Ed! Go Ed!
Latest update: Ed’s finished!!! Unlike England’s football performance today against Germany, Ed has delivered the goods! He’s just crossed the line in a final time of 10 hours 55 minutes.
Thanks to everyone who has supported and sponsored Ed. If you haven’t sponsored him yet, then it’s not too late!
Jun 10
6
Before Joseph arrived into our lives, Colette and I used to spend most of our lives riding our bikes together. So much so in fact, that Colette got rather good at it and competed internationally, including the Cycling World Championships in 2003 and 2004. It was because of cycling that we fell in love with France and ended up moving here in 2004.
Cycling was a big part of our lives.
If it wasn’t for Joseph’s horrendous illness we would now be enjoying watching him take his first wobbly pedal strokes on his own little bike, and perhaps even doing our first family bike ride together (although Joseph would be a bit young for the big Tour de France mountain climbs!). Joseph would also be starting school and this would have given myself and Colette much more time together to go cycling just like we used to.
Sadly, due to leukodystrophy, it is highly unlikely that Joseph will ever pedal a bike stroke and we will just have to quietly watch our friends’ and neighbours’ children make their first brave pedal strokes. We just want to be a normal family.
Well, the good news is that this weekend we took a big step towards normality. We bought a new bike chariot in which we can carry Joseph and go for rides together… as a family! Freedom and unity at last!
To celebrate we went for a bike ride and a picnic in the lovely summer sunshine. It was a classic French scene that we have always dreamed of: a family sitting in a walnut orchard surrounded by their bikes and pretty countryside. The only thing missing was a bottle of wine. Next time!
We’re now looking forward to some exciting adventures together, perhaps even a camping trip! The sort of things other families do.
Jun 10
6
Ed’s training is going well (mostly) and finally he has been blessed with a decent run of good weather. Not only will this benefit his training, but it will also give him a chance to tan his legs a bit, which is a highly important attribute of any triathlete!
Swimmers must be the most dedicated of athletes. Endlessly ploughing up & down a pool watching the tiles go by, can be no fun for anybody. At least with the cycling, running & skiing pursuits it gets you out in the great outdoors. I was considering this & obviously not concentrating on the session this week. The 3km swim will probably be the only pool time I get for the next 2 weeks, not ideal. More…